Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize