the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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