then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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