Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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