You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
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Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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