i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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