Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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