If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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