our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Drunk is a universal language darling
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize