Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Who died my cat blue again?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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