how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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