Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize