It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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