Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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