I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize