Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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