Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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