so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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