I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
smell my finger.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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