32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
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We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
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I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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