This is not my ceiling
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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