i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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