I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
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For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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