i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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