i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize