So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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