Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize