hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
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It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
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I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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