alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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