Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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