just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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