Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize