We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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