If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bartender felt bad for me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize