I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize