i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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