yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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