Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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