It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
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If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
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You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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