1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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