Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize