Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize