I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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