wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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