I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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