Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
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My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
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He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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