I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
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my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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