Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize