my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize