okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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